Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.
Robin Williams
6
Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.
Robin Williams
7
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Robin Williams
8
Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
Robin Williams
9
I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
Robin Williams
10
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
Robin Williams
11
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Robin Williams
12
Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
Robin Williams
13
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Robin Williams
14
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams
15
Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
Robin Williams
16
The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
Robin Williams
17
The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.
Robin Williams
18
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Robin Williams
19
We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.
Robin Williams
20
What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
Robin Williams
