Gold, n.: A soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution. It is mined deep in the earth by poor men who then give it to rich men who immediately bury it back in the earth in great prisons, although gold hasn't done anything to them. Mike Harding
He once had his toes amputated so he could stand closer to the bar. Mike Harding
If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house. Mike Harding